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Loving Kindness

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What do you do to take care of yourself?  Look around.  Look around your home, your office, your car.  What do your living spaces look like?

The spaces in which you spend your time are a reflection of your loving kindness. Are they beautiful to you? Do you enjoy being in them? Do they make you feel happy? Joyful? Light? Playful? Fun? If you love the spaces in which you spend your time, you prioritize loving kindness for yourself. You take the time to comfort yourself through the beauty of your environment.

Are you the person who has a plant or flower on your desk because you love the beauty of nature near you?  Are you the person who fills your space with art that sings to your soul?  Pictures of those you love all around?  A candy dish everyone knows will always be stocked?  Are you happy when you get home?  Open the door and feel at ease and comfortable when you walk in?  Arrive in your office, turn on the light, and feel excited?  Enjoy driving your car?

Is a space you endure?  Tolerate?  Don’t feel comfortable in?  Flat out don’t like? Avoid completely though you need to be in it?  What would you like it to look like? How would you like to feel in this space? What would your dream makeover look like?

Dream big.  After all, feeling comfortable and happy, supported in your space is key to treating yourself with loving kindness.  Have fun brainstorming and planning.  What you would love to create in this space?  Write. Draw. Imagine. Talk.  When you have all of your ideas down, ask yourself, what would it take to start me on the journey to a space in which I would love to be?  Time?  Energy?  Money?  Letting go of something?  Changing a perception or a belief?  What would it take?  Are you worth it?

You are.  You are worth it.  Creating a space you love being in is one way to treat yourself with loving kindness.

Once you have a plan, begin.  Maybe it’s clearing out and letting go of stuff that doesn’t serve you–that you don’t need.  Maybe it’s moving furniture around.  Maybe it’s cleaning up.  Maybe it’s including something that makes you smile every time your eyes light on it.  Maybe it’s the music you play. A new color.  Starting from scratch.

About a year ago, I decided to move my desk, so I could see the light of day through the window in the office across the hall.  When I moved my desk, all of the furniture would not fit.  I had to let go of something.  As I scratched my head, I thought, I can’t let go of all of my books—I love my books.  I need all of these files.  Then as I was looking at my colleague’s office, I noticed she didn’t have a filing cabinet.  I asked her where she kept her files.  She said she stored everything electronically. It’s so much easier, she said.  I looked back at my office and asked myself, is there anything in here that can’t be stored electronically.  There were a couple of things, but after poking around, I realized I could move those to one of my desk drawers.  I decided to clear out the whole filing cabinet.  At first, it was a little scary.  What if I threw something out and needed it later?  That was the chance I took.  As I kept clearing out, I felt lighter and lighter, and the process got easier and easier.  Letting go felt great. I realized that some of the files were 15 years old, and I had never opened them.  Once the filing cabinet was gone, I felt lighter.  Happier. I was motivated to give away some of my books—to let go of other things too. To change my perspective—see the sky—I changed my perception about what was important to me.  As I let go, new possibilities opened up.

I love being able to look away from my computer screen and see what the weather is.  Notice what color the sky is.  Watch a bird fly by.  A couple of times, someone asked me for a file that I let go, and I simply said, I don’t have a copy of that, looked out the window, and moved on.

I love being in my office.  I love opening the door and turning on the light, illuminating what I created.  I love sitting at my desk, looking up, and seeing light and sky.  After the shift, many colleagues stopped by to admire my handiwork, and several others were inspired to change their offices around after they saw how happy I was.  Everyone is happier, and there is often a happy buzz of energy in the hallway.

If you hesitate to transform a space, ask yourself, what is the belief or perception that keeps me from investing in a pleasing environment?  What ties me to a space, an environment, that is not loving?  Be honest with yourself.  Do you believe you deserve a space you love?  Do you believe you are worth a pleasing environment?  Are you afraid of letting go of something?  Are you overwhelmed by the seeming enormity of the task?  Once you figure it out, thank the belief or perception.  Love it.  Release it.  Whatever it is, it is a perception that limits you. Create a new perception and perspective.  Share your plan.  Ask for help. Start small. Enjoy the process. The joy you radiate from treating yourself with loving kindness could create a ripple effect.  If you are happier in your work space, are you happier when you get home?  Does riding in your clean car rejuvenate you?  Are you more excited to read on that patio? Be in that garden?  As you treat yourself with loving kindness, others may be motivated to treat themselves with loving kindness too.  The possibilities are endless.

The spaces we create for ourselves reflect our ability to love ourselves.  Spaces we love reflect to the universe and ourselves that we love ourselves enough to create something pleasing that looks good, feels good.  I hope you want your environments to reflect the love you are and your intention to love yourself through loving kindness.

Receive and Give Love: Breathe In and Out

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When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thing you do?

Where are your thoughts?  Where your thoughts are as you wake up indicate in what you invest your energy, where you place your love.  If you are thinking about what you want in your day, fantastic.  If you are thinking about other people, work, what needs to be done, etc, consider how focusing on yourself for a few moments each morning can shift your whole day.

When you wake up, ask yourself “What is MY intention for this day?”  Consider how you want to feel for the day or what you would like to achieve.  Your intention may be as simple as:

  • I intend to be happy with myself all day no matter what happens.
  • I intend to be calm today.
  • I intend to be peaceful.
  • I intend to flow with each moment of the day.
  • I intend to recognize that I am doing the best I can in each moment.

What would bring you the most joy?  Intend it.

Or, if you want to accomplish something, intend that.

  • I intend to feel joy in my accomplishment as I work on X project today.
  • I intend to have fun with everything I do today.
  • I intend to mow the grass and finish half of my to-do list and then do something fun.
  • I intend to exercise today.
  • I intend to be conscious about what I am focusing on today.  I intend to focus on the positive.

Intending what you want for yourself equates to loving yourself enough to prioritize your desires. When you place your feet on the floor, state your intention out loud.  Own it.  In doing so, you set the vibrational tone of your day, you send the message “what I want matters today.  I am a priority.”

As you go through your day, pay attention to how you respond to others.  Do you receive? Deflect?  Reject?  By understanding how you respond to others, you gain insight to your ability to receive. When someone says “thank you” to you, how do you respond?  “You’re welcome.”  “No, thank you.”  “I didn’t do anything, really.  It was <the team, all your work, insert some other reply.>”  “No need to thank me.”  Your answers indicate your receptivity.

You signal I accept/allow/receive when you respond with “You’re welcome” or by returning a smile.  Deflecting or rejecting what others give you with comments like “No.  It’s you who deserves thanks” or “It was nothing” or “I didn’t do anything” deflects the gratitude given and signals you are unable to receive.

If someone offers to help you, from holding a door open to helping with some task or making your day easier in some way, do you accept the gesture?  Do you respond with a “thank you?”  Do you decline with responses like “I’ve got it” or “No need” or “It’s nothing”?  Your response reveals your love story.

Really pay attention to how you respond.  Focus on accepting “thank yous.” A simple “you’re welcome” is all that is needed to shift your energy to receiving.  Notice how the person who offered gratitude responds to your acceptance.  Notice who around you accepts gratitude all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time and how others engage with these responses.

Accepting the gratitude, kindness or help of others is an indicator that you are receiving not only gratitude and love but abundance from the universe.  Consciously intend to accept kindness, gratitude and love from others—consciously receive. Notice if you accept easily and effortforlessly or if you have to work at it.  Notice how receiving feels to you.

Think about how easily and joyfully people who are in love give and receive love.  They delight in both giving and receiving. Accepting gratitude, kindness, and love is essential to falling in love with you. Giving and receiving is like breathing in and out.  Breathing is the balanced flow of intake and output.  Receiving kindness, gratitude, or any kind of love, is just as vital as giving it. Receiving is one way to experience loving yourself.

I’d love to hear how you allow yourself to receive love this week and what you noticed along the way.

Fall In Love

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When was the last time you heard someone say something like I am so in love with   . . ..?  I’m so in love with <insert name>.  He brings out the best in me.  I’m so in love with her.  She makes me feel like the man/woman I’m supposed to be.  I am so in love with this house.  It’s so inviting.  I love being in it–the view is amazing. I feel so comfortable.  I love that place!  Let’s go there!

How did you feel when you listen to someone gush about loving?

When others are filled with love, with abundance, with joy, with magic, how does it feel to be around them?  Do you enjoy it?  Is the love they feel infectious? Is it uncomfortable?  Annoying?

What we feel when we are in the presence of love is a reflection of the love we feel in and for ourselves.

I propose that it’s time to fall in love with yourself.  That’s right.  There is nothing better for wellbeing, balance, harmony, joy, or peace than self love . . . falling in love with yourself.  When we love ourselves, we take care of ourselves.  Have fun with ourselves.  Enjoy ourselves.  Are happy with ourselves.

What I’m proposing may seem exciting, or at least interesting to some, and scary to uncomfortable to others.  Isn’t it exciting, or at least interesting, to experience something new . . .  some new feeling?  Think about the last time you fell in love with something.  How’d it feel?  Easy?  Joyful?  Were you anxious at times?  Giddy at others?  Sure?  Unsure?  Excited to see what unfolded?  Eager for the next step?  Falling in love often takes us through a range of emotions. . . . What do you remember feeling?

Consider looking in the mirror and saying, I love you.  I love myself.

When you try it, how does it feel?  Do you want to turn away quickly?  Or are you comfortable with looking at yourself?

I started dancing when I was four years old.  Being short, I was always on the end of the line where there was no mirror.  If I looked slightly to my left, I saw the other girls in the mirror.  Later when classes were smaller and I was in a duet or trio, I was right in front of the mirror.  It was hard for me to look at myself.  I often watched the other girls or looked away, so I didn’t lose focus on the dance.  When I watched myself in the mirror, I saw all of my flaws and was very uncomfortable.  It was uncomfortable for me to look in any mirror.

How do you feel when you look in the mirror?  What goes through your mind?  What do you say to yourself?  What if you just changed the script?  What would happen if we all changed our scripts?

What would the world be like if everyone was taught to say, feel, and know:  “I love my self.  I am in love with myself.  I love loving myself.  Loving myself brings me joy.  Makes me happy.  Makes me feel . . . .  Is peaceful.  Is . . . . .

What will happen if you love yourself?  What will change for you?

I invite you to sign up for my blog and join me on a journey of love this fall.  Let’s explore falling in love with ourselves and see where that takes us.  It’s going to be an exciting journey.

Over the next week, ask:

  • Am I ready to fall in love with myself?
    • If you feel uncomfortable with that question, ask:   What do I fear?
      • Acknowledge whatever comes up.  Don’t be afraid to allow whatever you feel.  Accepting your fears is accepting yourself.  Rejecting your fears is rejecting a part of yourself.  If you can accept what you feel, you can love yourself.
      • What in the world could be more important than loving myself?
      • Am I ready to invest in my single-most valuable asset–me?

Let’s fall in love this fall.  With you.

Welcome to Expanding Horizons

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Going in peace and love to serve the world is the intention I have every day.  Each person, experience, and thing I come across is an invitation to see, feel, hear, and know love.  In my blog, I share some of the things that help me expand my horizons by allowing me to see love in a new way, experience love in a new way, be love in a new way. Expansion is a beautiful gift as it keeps life fun and exciting, inspires creativity, and transforms. I hope that you will cocreate with me on this magical journey of expanding horizons.

Image courtesy of Idea go at FreeDigitalPhotos.net